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Est. August 9, 2018

Est. August 9, 2018

I write this post today with a heart full of so much love and as an official mommy to Olivia Lee. She’s perfect. I was always wondering how my birth story would go, and it started a couple of weeks early! Olivia just couldn’t wait a day longer and made her way into this world at 10:53 a.m. on Thursday, August 9th. Little did I know that on Wednesday night as I prepared to go to bed, when the clock hit midnight…my water would break (I’m sure one could make a Cinderella joke here somewhere). There are several things that people just don’t tell you or get wrong completely. For example, “oh it’s just a little trickle of water when your water breaks.” Um how about it’s like Niagra Falls and it doesn’t stop until you give birth!!

Luckily Josh and I had everything set for the most part so we snagged our stuff we packed for the hospital and headed out once my doctor called back and said to go. Fun fact, “Sweet Child of Mine” came on the radio when the hubs rounded the entrance to the hospital. We were arriving a party of two and will be leaving a party of three.

We went up to the top floor for labor and delivery and the “oh shit this is really happening” feeling was really setting in. I wasn’t having contractions until a whole half hour after my water broke so I was spared that pain until we were actually at the hospital. And boy did those contractions ramp the hell up quickly. Let me tell you, getting an epidural was the best decision I EVER made. While you can’t get up and walk around during labor, they had birthing ball techniques I could still do laying down. But as I was waiting for the anesthesiologist to make her way to my room, there were several things that were running through my mind.

  • Can this be over now?
  • He did this to me (looks over at hubs) how fucking dare him.
  • I hope I don’t do any permanent damage to hubby’s hand since I’m about to break it with each contraction I have.

I won’t get too graphic with the details, but an epidural doesn’t get rid of ALL the pain. No, no. There are rectal contractions that are just as bad almost as regular contractions. Then I was told that since I was progressing and getting closer and closer to 10 cm, I should be delivering my baby before lunchtime. (insert holy shit I don’t know if I’m ready for all this thoughts here).

After enduring some painful contractions, the doctor finally came in and told me that it’s time to finally push and have this baby. After buckling down and four pushes later, I heard the cries of my baby girl entering this world. It was both one of the most surreal, most emotional moments of my life having my daughter being handed to me for the first time. Suddenly nothing else mattered and nothing else dawned on me (i.e. the trauma my nether parts just endured). My healthy baby girl was in my arms. She’s healthy, has all 10 tiny fingers and toes, and she was perfect.

I’m still amazed that I made this tiny little girl and that I have this new role as her mommy. We stayed at the hospital for a couple of days after even though we thankfully didn’t have any complications that couldn’t be managed at home. I was bummed for having to stay at all…(I hate hospitals, they creep me out). We limited visitors to immediate family and before we knew it, it was time to bring our baby girl home.

Like every other first time parent, I was scared. Suddenly we were on our own to decipher what her cries meant…to swaddle her tightly enough, to feed her (breastfeeding is legit a full-time job), and to make sure she’s the happiest/healthiest baby. Luckily we’re blessed to have an amazing support group of family and friends to come and help with SO much as we focus on our little one from people bringing food to my mom (God bless her) coming over just to clean the house and drop off whatever we need. These first few weeks have been so hard, but whenever I look at her sweet little face whether her tiny little lungs are screaming or she smiles so big…it’s worth absolutely every lost hour of sleep and near breakdown. I’d do everything and anything for her. My little peanut has changed my whole world and all I can do is smile as my heart is just bursting with so much love.

 

Cheers,

Prepping for Baby

Prepping for Baby

With all of the wonderful chaos that goes along with prepping to become first-time parents, I wouldn’t change it for anything. It’s the very reason why this blog has been so neglected, and while I had every intention to document my pregnancy journey, some things I’m happy to keep private. I mean really, no one needs to be filled in on how I was hung over the toilet for what seemed like a lifetime during my entire first trimester (technically it was morning sickness…but I also had mid-afternoon and late at night sickness so whatever you want to call it) it sucked. But I know that in the end, all of the aches and pains, gaining a ridiculous amount of weight, sleepless nights, hormonal rages….will all be worth it when I get to finally look my tiny little baby girl in the face. In just two weeks.

Sometimes I feel like prepping for our little one to arrive isn’t half as stressful as other people who love to give their advice. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all about hearing what parents have to say and what’s worked for them when things got rough, but it’s all about the approach. I feel like every parent has their own style when it comes to raising their kids and I feel like there are some things that I know will not fly with my husband and I. Some parents are just…okay a little batshit crazy.

Then you get into “oh what is your birth plan?” I can tell you now, no essential oil offering or meditation playlist would be able to substitute what an epidural can give me. SIGN ME UP. For the women who want to endure that pain, more power to you. If I have the option to NOT be in as much pain, why not? I think of it as, would you choose to have surgery without anesthesia and feel your insides being torn apart? Nope. No thanks. This of course is a hot topic among many. I’ve learned to respect other opinions, although in turn it’s important to reciprocate. It’s sad when people expect you to respect their opinions, but continue to disrespect yours. Instead of getting too stressed out, I’ve chosen to avoid the negative vibes as much as possible. In the end, as the parents, we have the final say as to what is best for our baby. Amen? Has anyone else felt pressured into doing/not doing something just because of someone else’s lifestyle or beliefs? It’s been over-the-top and rude. The following are the top 10 most annoying unsolicited opinions/actions:

  1. “OMG you’re getting vaccinated and your baby? You do know that it’s just a money scheme right? It’s totally not necessary”
  2. “You’re getting an epidural?! You could become paralyzed!”
  3. “I really hope you’re breastfeeding, otherwise there’s no way your baby will get the proper nutrients.”
  4. “Wait…you’re still working? (insert judgmental face here)
  5. “You’re only taking 6 weeks off for maternity leave? Won’t you miss your baby? That’s going to be so hard.”
  6. “I hope you’re getting sleep now, because you’ll be miserable once the baby is born.”
  7. “Wow you look SO pregnant today!”
  8. *Just walks up and rubs your belly without asking*
  9. “You must be SO miserable being pregnant during the summer.”
  10. *Insert several birth stories and graphic details here*

via GIPHY

I just can’t. It’s amazing how I’ve kept my hormones in check as much as I have and for this long. I should get a medal. Sorry, but I’m perfectly aware of ALL the possibilities that I might face when it comes to giving birth from a torn vag to possibly getting cut open to hemorrhaging among other scary health issues. Take a pill  (because I can’t) and calm yourself. You’re not helping anyone.

As a mom-to-be it’s things like this that dads don’t really have to put up with or bother with as much. And let me tell you, there are two types of moms: working moms and stay-at-home moms. DRASTIC difference. There are so many challenges that I will be facing being a working mom, but at the end of the day, I will be setting a great example for my baby girl. Will it be hard? No shit it will be. I’m sure I’ll cry the whole way to work while she gets to spend quality time with her Mimi, snacking, and napping like a little peaceful baby should. It’s what’s necessary to give her the best life possible. And because this momma is only going to give her the best. Sacrifices must be made. It will be hard, but nothing worth while ever came easy right? Pretty sure that’s what they say.

I’m now at the 38-week mark and she can come ANY time now. I’m really praying she does. I want to see that cute little face, hold that tiny little hand, and hold her close to me. The nursery is pretty much all set for her arrival too. Luigi is even trying to be patient, but it’s wearing thin. He can’t wait to meet his tiny human.

While I’ll miss feeling her kicks and not having to share her with anyone else, I’m ready to be not pregnant and to sport that mommy title. This will be one hell of an adventure.

Cheers!